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Canadian military testing “stealth” snowmobile

August 18, 2013
The military stealth snommobile is still just as maneuverable as a regular snomobile.

The military stealth snowmobile is exactly as maneuverable as a regular snowmobile. Apologies to photographer Jeff McIntosh, and Canadian Press.

News reports, like this one, that the Canadian military has been conducting Arctic trials of a so-called hybrid, stealth snowmobile, electrified (the) defense analyst who closely follows The Canadian military’s Northern posture. “Prone, and spread, for the most part,” declared the desk general, “but now those Russian, and American, and British, nuclear submarines won’t know what hit them, unless we’re talking about all the parts of the Arctic which will be open water in ten years. I just jolly well hope they’ve got some hybrid, stealth Sea-doos up their gold-braided sleeves.

The gas-electric hybrid snowmobile, which has been nicknamed Loki, after a character in the Marvel Thor, and Avengers movies, is still an R&D project, being spearheaded by DRDC Suffield, a major Canadian military research facility located 5 km (3.1 mi) north of Suffield, Alberta, in case it, you know, blows up — again.

The main goals, since 2007, when, as this report indicates, the Canadian military realized McGill University had had a fully functioning all-electric snowmobile for like ever! was a silent-running Arctic ATV which could quickly get Canadian troops into, and, more importantly, out of trouble. The current prototypes are indeed comparatively silent. Compared to the normal snowmobile’s “747 powering up for takeoff” engine noise, the prototype hybrid, or Loki — in electric-mode — has a faint engine noise equivalent to a small Cessna crashing into the side of a glacier, which, in the high Arctic, no one would be around to hear, so it’s basically “pretty darn quiet.” While admitting the gas-mode “needs work,” everyone is impressed that between the two modes, when it’s effectively turned off, the hybrid is utterly silent.

Another stealth technology being investigated, which promises to make any vehicle, not just a snowmobile, all but invisible to external scrutiny, is the DACS field, or Declaration of Canadian Arctic Sovereignty field. This is based on the fact that any action following a Canadian declaration of Arctic sovereignty is utterly ignored. Successful experiments have been conducted using short excerpts from Arctic sovereignty speeches by various Prime Ministers, as well as off-the-cuff remarks to that effect, by anyone.

Top speeds for the prototypes are classified, but inside sources, close to the project say they are like “night and day” compared to the earlier prototype, dubbed “Poki,” which used an experimental made-in-Canada engine, which ran on walrus blubber.

When asked if this kind of hybrid snowmobile would really meet military needs, particularly given that the US Parks Service is already using the same kind of quiet, fast hybrid snowmobiles to patrol Yellowstone National Park, a spokesperson for Defense Research and Development Canada (DRDC) asked that the question be repeated, s-l-o-w-l-y, and then explained that Yellowstone needed above-average, mission-critical, technology because, as she said, “the animals there are smarter than average.”

Asked when such hybrid stealth snowmobile technology might actually be deployed for military use, for real, an analyst familiar with the project felt the earliest date would be “when Hell freezes over.” The analyst cautioned that global warming made even that date optimistic.

Special thanks to xtian for bringing this important story to our attention.

From → Canada

2 Comments
  1. ~xtian permalink

    Another nicely written expose from our Canadian correspondent 😉

    The photo-journalism, I must say is top notch.

    • It’s easy when the foreign desk is so on top of the news. Thanks. I like how our stealth snowmobile stands out like a traffic cone on a snow bank.

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